shes going to middlesex. I don't even know what to say. I'm either gonna cry or throw up. I am honestly afraid. I see her and a part of me just hurts so bad, just crumbles up. I can practically hear all of the horrible things she said to me over the years getting whispered in my ear all over again and those glares. She can look at you and take your humanity away. She's like a dementor in harry Potter.

Thats how she looks at me whenever I see her. She looks through me, and as much as i remind myself that i am not who i was back then it makes no difference because she takes away everything.

i wish there was someone i could actually talk to about this but there seems to be a serious shortage of shoulders to cry on around here.

I remember when i found this poem online. It was about 10 AM on a sunday and i was about to leave for church with Abbe but wanted to check my email. I don't know how this came up, but it did. i started bawling. i thought i wouldn't i would never ever stop crying and my mother made me sit in the car until i cleaned myself up, but I couldn't stop shaking.

well anyway, she wrote this poem - she knew all the right spots to hit, and all the right lies to spread. I'm not too suprised now that i got so many horrible looks from people in school.


I am a victim of your Lesbian Venom
your Lesbian Venom is in my veins
now I foam at the mouth and am subjected to pains

When you shaved your head I thought that was cool
but began to wonder when you played Etheridge
an told me Barbie used to fuck Midge

You took me to check out cheerleaders
by then I saw that it was all true
Lesbian Venom had taken a hold of you

When we took the train up to New York
and I decided to run away
on the streets of the gay pride parade

I ran through Chinatown
but you hunted an caught me
behind the incense scented like pussy

Oh how it smelled!
when you advanced in your dyke denim
and left me a victim of your Lesbian Venom

But now it's all over
you're sad and alone
looking for christian boys to take you home

I hope they like cats
I hope they like bitches
I hope they're warned of what they're to witness

A girl who ignores you
devouring macaroni and cheese
and to only the pussy does she say please