i walked in to my brothers room and took off my sunglasses as Aslan jumped into my lap, started purring and fell asleep in the span of about five seconds.

He turned around on his swivel chair and looked me up and down

"You...you were crying. You never cry"

I have two ways of dealing with things that bother me: I can either cry my eyes out and sob to the point that I am totally exhausted. I can turn off my brain turn to stone and internalize it, turn it in to anger and ignore it for as long as I can slowly getting really really bitter.

If you know me, you know that I never cry. I can remember the last time I did - Aslan ran away (we thought - he was sleeping in my room) and I thought he was gone forever. I cried a little. No sobs or major waterworks, just a few tears. Everyone I know cries more than I do.

okay, i get kinda teary whenever alex sings that josh groban song. you know the one i'm talking about.

I'm still really conflicted.
i'm glad i'm way too busy to think or i might self destruct.