Endings

So i had my last day of work yesterday. I was there for five damn hours and when i got home I kind of wanted to die - but abbela wanted to go swimming so we swam instead which was okay. I guess. She ran around in my pink bikini for a while yelling "I am a transvestite" much to the amusement of my cat george and my new kitten aslan. I sat in a tube and read (big surprise there.)

For those of you who don't know what I do, I am a superbabysitter. I work at a big daycare and I am in control of about thirty kids for about three hours everyday.I' ve gotten to the point that I know most of my little guys better than their parents do which is more than just unsettling and that I answer to MOM before I answer to elizabeth.

I saw was evil when i looked at these kids. I didn't want to be near them, i didn't want to hug them i wanted the mall to dissapear. I wanted to read and listen to my iPod and not jump rope

I wasnt always that way though. I used to live to go to work. I loved my kiddies asif they were my own. If they were crying i'd be tearing up too because i could not stand to see little people so sad. we would play dominos and jenga and i would only use little words when we played scrabble (I'm a scrabble champion) and we would draw with chalk and it was bliss.

Then one day Abbela picked me up from work in full drag of course and I guess because of the way we were talking or because of the way she calls me honey,well my boss thought we were an item.

Doc Martens + Melissa Etheridge concert tees+ cargo pants + never wearing any makeup+ occasionally referencing the mohawk you used to have+ transvestites for friends = raging lesbian.

I have a slew of ex boyfriends who could protest but I'm tired of having to defend myself against things like that.

So then they started to try to get me fired for anything thing I did. Being that my mother is their boss, it didn't work. So instead they treated me like crap every minute of every day I had work until it broke me completely. I couldn't even remember what I saw in the little demons that I had to entertain for three hours a day.

I was sitting with my kids making head garlands out of clover flowers andIi remembered what it was. they were talking about religion and what their parents grew up with in china and how they went to church and christianity was the american religion and they kept using that term which made me laugh a little (I wasn't going to correct them - they're all seven years old) and then they started on politics

Maureen: "My dad met george bush. they should have arm wrestled or something> He's an idiot."
Aimee: "Yeah, my parents like that black guy"
Jenna: "Hilary. its all about Hilary. Barak is a loser. Hilary."
Me: "None of you are old enough to vote."
Maureen: We're old enough to know that George bush is a loser though."
Aimee + Jenna: "Yeah"
Jenna: "Gosh elizabeth, don't you know anything ?"

And then i remembered and it surged back. That ridiculous insane love for the little ragamuffins that I spent way to much time with. I was so horrified by how badly I treated them and part of me wanted to beg for forgiveness.

We made necklaces and drank apple juice instead. It was the right ending.