i had a rant up here yesterday. i was in a weird mood. i wrote it late at night and it doesn't reflect who i am.
and now it is gone.
poof!
oh btw - does anybody wanna go see Tony Campolo speak in Ocean grove on August 19th at 7 pm? I don't wanna be a loser and go by myself.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
I was at 7-11 yesterday getting snapple and this orthodox jewish (he was probably hasidic actually) pulled up and asked one of the guys who worked there for directions to some place becuase he was obviously very lost. I knew what I he was talking about and in my sweetest most innocent voice I asked "Sir do you need help?", but he just shook his head thanked the man who he asked (who didn't know the place he was talking about) and walked out.
does anyone know if this is customary - that an othrodox jewish man can't talk to a non jewish woman or if this guy was just rude?
does anyone know if this is customary - that an othrodox jewish man can't talk to a non jewish woman or if this guy was just rude?
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Dear lady in the green minivan,
I was in front of you on route 27 at about 6:45 this morning. I know you saw me, I was in the blue/green dodge stratus singing along to Hotel Yorba by the White Stripes with the windows rolled down.
You came out of no where and then you cut me off bitch.I was going probably about fifty mph so you must have been going sixty. I figured you were in a rush? I am here to tell you that you're not that important. No one so important that they need to go twenty miles over the speed limitand weave around people like you do.
And then you did it. You made my day, I have to say.
You pulled into the gas station. You cut me off and drove insanely fast so you could get gas. what the fuck?
People like you are the reason that i have virtually no faith in humanity anymore.
Thanks a lot
liz
I was in front of you on route 27 at about 6:45 this morning. I know you saw me, I was in the blue/green dodge stratus singing along to Hotel Yorba by the White Stripes with the windows rolled down.
You came out of no where and then you cut me off bitch.I was going probably about fifty mph so you must have been going sixty. I figured you were in a rush? I am here to tell you that you're not that important. No one so important that they need to go twenty miles over the speed limitand weave around people like you do.
And then you did it. You made my day, I have to say.
You pulled into the gas station. You cut me off and drove insanely fast so you could get gas. what the fuck?
People like you are the reason that i have virtually no faith in humanity anymore.
Thanks a lot
liz
I laugh whenever I see this
I'm in a funky mood today:
1) Muslims don't recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2) Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3) Protestants don't recognize the Pope as leader of the Christian movement.
4) Baptists don't recognize each other at Hooters.
God is Love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder are blind.
God is a blind R&B singer.
1) Muslims don't recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2) Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3) Protestants don't recognize the Pope as leader of the Christian movement.
4) Baptists don't recognize each other at Hooters.
God is Love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder are blind.
God is a blind R&B singer.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
so i went to youth group with melissa. I've been freaking out about it all day - my people skills are lacking and I wasn't sure how well I'd fit with a room full of seventeen year old baptists still kind of high from the Harvey Ceders Bible Conference being that word on the street is that i am a high class heretic (univesal reconciliation makes respectable christians squirm). Needless to say, i went in sort of prejudiced.
I kept repeating my mantra to myself 'I have nothing to prove and no one to impress' and that kept me pretty sane
I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Their worship was really innovative and everyone was really sweet.
But there was one thing -
One of the youth pastors spoke a message contrasting the new age movement from christianity through a lens of Psalm 24 which was pretty cool I thought and then I realized that he was shreading this faith apart and growing up I never let my friends pick on anyone - even people I didn't like. I mean, if i get an A on a test and everyone else gets like a C - lowering their grades wouldn't make mine higher would it?
NO
Its theological bullying and its not nice and it makes it difficult for me to sympathize when people cry about how much the world hates christians. I wouldn't like a people who could unravel panethiesm and makes people who do crystal meditation look like idiots and then talk about love.
Its embarassing for me - a person who seriously strives to be the polar opposite. I guess my faith is based on different things.
what does that mean liz?
i had this conversation with a woman trying to 'witness' to me in new york.
Lady trying to give Liz a Chick Tract: Darling, are you saved?
Liz: I don't know, i never really thought about it
LTTGLACT: Well are you a christian?
Liz: Yeah.
LTTGLACT: Are you born again?
Liz: with all due respect, i came out pretty alright the first time.
LTTGLACT: what is your faith based on? " you know none may enter the kingdom of heaven without..."
Liz: oh i don't really care about any of that stuff.
LTTGLACT: stuff?
Liz: I'm a christian because I believe the gospel can change the world and i wanna be a part of that. not for a get out of jail free card.
LTTGLACT: You know, you are cheapening the cross!
Liz: But atleast I dont just want jesus for his blood. have a nice day ma'am.
my head hurts and i've gotta get up early to hang with the Slut
goodnight everyone
I kept repeating my mantra to myself 'I have nothing to prove and no one to impress' and that kept me pretty sane
I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Their worship was really innovative and everyone was really sweet.
But there was one thing -
One of the youth pastors spoke a message contrasting the new age movement from christianity through a lens of Psalm 24 which was pretty cool I thought and then I realized that he was shreading this faith apart and growing up I never let my friends pick on anyone - even people I didn't like. I mean, if i get an A on a test and everyone else gets like a C - lowering their grades wouldn't make mine higher would it?
NO
Its theological bullying and its not nice and it makes it difficult for me to sympathize when people cry about how much the world hates christians. I wouldn't like a people who could unravel panethiesm and makes people who do crystal meditation look like idiots and then talk about love.
Its embarassing for me - a person who seriously strives to be the polar opposite. I guess my faith is based on different things.
what does that mean liz?
i had this conversation with a woman trying to 'witness' to me in new york.
Lady trying to give Liz a Chick Tract: Darling, are you saved?
Liz: I don't know, i never really thought about it
LTTGLACT: Well are you a christian?
Liz: Yeah.
LTTGLACT: Are you born again?
Liz: with all due respect, i came out pretty alright the first time.
LTTGLACT: what is your faith based on? " you know none may enter the kingdom of heaven without..."
Liz: oh i don't really care about any of that stuff.
LTTGLACT: stuff?
Liz: I'm a christian because I believe the gospel can change the world and i wanna be a part of that. not for a get out of jail free card.
LTTGLACT: You know, you are cheapening the cross!
Liz: But atleast I dont just want jesus for his blood. have a nice day ma'am.
my head hurts and i've gotta get up early to hang with the Slut
goodnight everyone
a conversation I had with abbe
Liz:"Oh well, i'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints."
Abbe: "seriously?
Liz: "ofcourse, wouldn't you?"
abbe: "no. I'd rather cry with the saints"
Liz: "umm, okay i guess."
Abbe: "seriously?
Liz: "ofcourse, wouldn't you?"
abbe: "no. I'd rather cry with the saints"
Liz: "umm, okay i guess."
Sunday, July 22, 2007
the guest left this morning!! ya know what that means?
no more dirty clothes in my bathroom.
no more "can i borrow your laptop for like fifteen minutes" - which always lasts an hour
no more reprograming my radio when i pull over to go to the bathroom
no more naked people in my pool
no more "oh she'll have a baconater" at Wendys - you know i'm a vegetarian you twit
no more " have you read all of these books. on your shelves?" every time he walks in my room
no more destroying the spines of books I'm nice enough to let you read on the beach
No more frighteningly drawn out debates over whether Jesus was white or brown (i think i finally won on that one)
its all over becuase i have my life back to myself
yesssssss!
no more dirty clothes in my bathroom.
no more "can i borrow your laptop for like fifteen minutes" - which always lasts an hour
no more reprograming my radio when i pull over to go to the bathroom
no more naked people in my pool
no more "oh she'll have a baconater" at Wendys - you know i'm a vegetarian you twit
no more " have you read all of these books. on your shelves?" every time he walks in my room
no more destroying the spines of books I'm nice enough to let you read on the beach
No more frighteningly drawn out debates over whether Jesus was white or brown (i think i finally won on that one)
its all over becuase i have my life back to myself
yesssssss!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I was bored today and took lots of quizzes
my faith type: maverick (but y'all knew that. for spiritual gifts test i've always been missionary)
Hogwarts House: Slytherin
and i don't remember the other results
oh and i discovered something i love to hate more than CCM - muslim hip hop. Seriously its like tobymac but more horrifying. I love it!
my faith type: maverick (but y'all knew that. for spiritual gifts test i've always been missionary)
Hogwarts House: Slytherin
and i don't remember the other results
oh and i discovered something i love to hate more than CCM - muslim hip hop. Seriously its like tobymac but more horrifying. I love it!
Monday, July 16, 2007
I'm in a weird mood today, when i got home from running errands this morning there was anaked person in my rom)
I went to cracker barrel for the first time in my life to pick up the guest (who aslan hates btw, and I trust his judegment more than my own...even if he does have fleas)
I will say for the record that I hate white people food. I like sweet tea but thats it - and tea is not native to america. Steak shouldn't be fried. Nothing should be fried like that. White gravy? Mac and cheese as a vegetable?
Shame on you all.
Its almost worse than hometown buffet.
Do you know what I hate? When you go to a stupid theme resturaunt (because you and your brother did rock paper scissors over Chowpatty and Johnny Rockets and you lost) and everything on the menu has really stupid names that you have way too much dignity to say so you just point to the menu and everyone looks at you like 'what can't you talk?'
Seriously, i was in the 'Dough Roller' which is this fake italian chain place in Ocean City maryland and the sandwich i wanted was called the 'New Joisey'. Umm, i think that undermines everything i stand for as a person from NJ with no obnoxious accent.
I went to cracker barrel for the first time in my life to pick up the guest (who aslan hates btw, and I trust his judegment more than my own...even if he does have fleas)
I will say for the record that I hate white people food. I like sweet tea but thats it - and tea is not native to america. Steak shouldn't be fried. Nothing should be fried like that. White gravy? Mac and cheese as a vegetable?
Shame on you all.
Its almost worse than hometown buffet.
Do you know what I hate? When you go to a stupid theme resturaunt (because you and your brother did rock paper scissors over Chowpatty and Johnny Rockets and you lost) and everything on the menu has really stupid names that you have way too much dignity to say so you just point to the menu and everyone looks at you like 'what can't you talk?'
Seriously, i was in the 'Dough Roller' which is this fake italian chain place in Ocean City maryland and the sandwich i wanted was called the 'New Joisey'. Umm, i think that undermines everything i stand for as a person from NJ with no obnoxious accent.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
I went shopping in little india today and I stopped for lunch - a sack of samosas and a mango lassi and as I was sitting and eating I noticed that I was the only woman who was showing both her knees, elbows and neck. All of the other women were covered from head to toe sitting quietly beside their husbands who were chattering away to each other.
Needless to say there was nothing I wanted to do more than slip on the new skirt I just purchased at the sari shop that came down to my feet and blend in a little more (my ivory skin would still pose a problem, but we can all look past that). Above all of that, the women all looked at me with disgust. I felt like a dalit amoung brahmins quietly flipping through my knitting magazine not making eye contact with anyone.
It was there, sitting in that resturaunt that I decided that I have to have children. Growing up my mother told me that I could do anything I wanted and that I was better than a boy. That arrogance will follow me all the days of my life :). I will have a handful of daughters with long beautiful strong names who will be raised to be self sufficient, aware of their own beauty, owners of their bodies and totally undomesticated. They will know how to bake souffles and use power tools (just like their mom). they will knit, sew and have a perfect spin on a football. they will never be ashamed of their bodies. They will speak their minds without ever being feminazis.
bottomline: if you see a too tall white girl in a mini skirt and camisole in a fast food indian dive in iselin - show some love - her kids are gonna be slappin you around someday :)
Needless to say there was nothing I wanted to do more than slip on the new skirt I just purchased at the sari shop that came down to my feet and blend in a little more (my ivory skin would still pose a problem, but we can all look past that). Above all of that, the women all looked at me with disgust. I felt like a dalit amoung brahmins quietly flipping through my knitting magazine not making eye contact with anyone.
It was there, sitting in that resturaunt that I decided that I have to have children. Growing up my mother told me that I could do anything I wanted and that I was better than a boy. That arrogance will follow me all the days of my life :). I will have a handful of daughters with long beautiful strong names who will be raised to be self sufficient, aware of their own beauty, owners of their bodies and totally undomesticated. They will know how to bake souffles and use power tools (just like their mom). they will knit, sew and have a perfect spin on a football. they will never be ashamed of their bodies. They will speak their minds without ever being feminazis.
bottomline: if you see a too tall white girl in a mini skirt and camisole in a fast food indian dive in iselin - show some love - her kids are gonna be slappin you around someday :)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I just watched two Lord of the Rings movies. This broke my heart in a whole new way.
Sam: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.
.
Sam: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.
.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Its raining outside my window - I just got new drapes they're electric blue and lime green which makes my room a little bit crazier. They make me smile and smiling is important. I think Aslan likes them too, and if he's happy, I'm happy. I never thought I would love anything as much as I love him and I think he loves me back.
I was out today, walking around in my red heels and I realized that I am a girl without a people. I'm not really in college. I'm not in high school. I'm not an adult, I'm not a kid. I'm not a democrat or a republican. I'm christian but i have no denomination and I am kind of a heretic. So for a second I felt very very lost and very very scared and then I burst out laughing becuase iIwas hit with a bolt of lightning of wisdom:
I am a very happy girl with a very happy cat living simply in a very complicated world and I can accept that or I can try to shimmy into a mold or two that I will never fit.
I feel like I should be scared and nervous because it seems like everyone else it afraid of something or worrying about the future and all I can seem to do is smile and be absolutely certain that despite all of the crap around us everything is going to be okay. You would be amazed at how angry it makes people
my mom says I'm stupid.
nancy says that I have the best kind of faith.
I say i'm just doing my thing.
btw - I just watched elizabethtown which is like my new favourite movie becuase I am exactly like Claire and I am in love with this quote:
"No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also... life "
I was out today, walking around in my red heels and I realized that I am a girl without a people. I'm not really in college. I'm not in high school. I'm not an adult, I'm not a kid. I'm not a democrat or a republican. I'm christian but i have no denomination and I am kind of a heretic. So for a second I felt very very lost and very very scared and then I burst out laughing becuase iIwas hit with a bolt of lightning of wisdom:
I am a very happy girl with a very happy cat living simply in a very complicated world and I can accept that or I can try to shimmy into a mold or two that I will never fit.
I feel like I should be scared and nervous because it seems like everyone else it afraid of something or worrying about the future and all I can seem to do is smile and be absolutely certain that despite all of the crap around us everything is going to be okay. You would be amazed at how angry it makes people
my mom says I'm stupid.
nancy says that I have the best kind of faith.
I say i'm just doing my thing.
btw - I just watched elizabethtown which is like my new favourite movie becuase I am exactly like Claire and I am in love with this quote:
"No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also... life "
Sunday, July 8, 2007
i was reading my old moleskine journal, becuase thats what i do when i'm uninspired ir want to see how much i've improved as a written etc and i found this entry. i didn't date it, but i know its from last year and it just moved me to tears
*************************************************************************
I was in New York yesterday. I took the PATH in from Jersey City. Its a quick ride, only a stop or two but it's long enough to get distracted. If you know anything about taking trains in New York you know that the path drops you off at World Trade Center station, and to get there you have to go straight through...umm...I hate to call it ground zero. Its a holy crater.
I remember the first time I took the train I didn't know where I was and I asked my mom "Where are we?". I figured that we were in a construction site in Hoboken or something. The look she gave me said it all. It is a wound that will never heal. I will never let it heal. I don't want it to heal. There is a picture of me taken on September 11th, 2001 in english class and you can see the clock in the background. it was about eight o'clock. I was smiling and wearing a sweatervest.
I was twelve years old.
I remember the smell. I can't descibe it to you because I don't know what it smelled like. Nothing on earth had ever smelled like this before. I never cried over it. I never prayed about it. I just turned off my emotions and watched my entire world shatter. Looking back twelve sounds so young, but there was nothing about it I didn't understand. There was no innocence there. No sugar coating. I could see smoke at my house. I remember eating frozen pizza with my best friend Xiao-Xiang and promising that we would live our lives differently; that we would look up, that we would force ourselves to be positive because even in the face of tragedy, life is beautiful. We said that we would love with wild abandon because nothing else matters. Nothing in the world. We thought that was the way we were supposed to live.
It's quite a creed for someone in middle school.
What happened to that?
I kind of went the other way with that though. I'm weird and cynical and I associate with people/ do things if they fit my agenda. If it doesn't fit into my box, it won't happen.
How terrible is that?
Something has been in the air lately. Something that is telling me that I can do better. Something telling me that I'm wasting my time fearing death, because I have never lived.
so je suis fini. i am done.
its time to take my own advice.
*************************************************************************
I was in New York yesterday. I took the PATH in from Jersey City. Its a quick ride, only a stop or two but it's long enough to get distracted. If you know anything about taking trains in New York you know that the path drops you off at World Trade Center station, and to get there you have to go straight through...umm...I hate to call it ground zero. Its a holy crater.
I remember the first time I took the train I didn't know where I was and I asked my mom "Where are we?". I figured that we were in a construction site in Hoboken or something. The look she gave me said it all. It is a wound that will never heal. I will never let it heal. I don't want it to heal. There is a picture of me taken on September 11th, 2001 in english class and you can see the clock in the background. it was about eight o'clock. I was smiling and wearing a sweatervest.
I was twelve years old.
I remember the smell. I can't descibe it to you because I don't know what it smelled like. Nothing on earth had ever smelled like this before. I never cried over it. I never prayed about it. I just turned off my emotions and watched my entire world shatter. Looking back twelve sounds so young, but there was nothing about it I didn't understand. There was no innocence there. No sugar coating. I could see smoke at my house. I remember eating frozen pizza with my best friend Xiao-Xiang and promising that we would live our lives differently; that we would look up, that we would force ourselves to be positive because even in the face of tragedy, life is beautiful. We said that we would love with wild abandon because nothing else matters. Nothing in the world. We thought that was the way we were supposed to live.
It's quite a creed for someone in middle school.
What happened to that?
I kind of went the other way with that though. I'm weird and cynical and I associate with people/ do things if they fit my agenda. If it doesn't fit into my box, it won't happen.
How terrible is that?
Something has been in the air lately. Something that is telling me that I can do better. Something telling me that I'm wasting my time fearing death, because I have never lived.
so je suis fini. i am done.
its time to take my own advice.
I do a little experiment whenever I walk into a church. I pretend I'm Junia or Pheobe or one of those other super cool church mothers who I pray that I can live up to and I wonder what their reaction would be. Once upon a time people heard this message that affected them in such a way that they allowed themselves to be thrown to the lions and we're practically afraid to bring up religion in a secular setting. I wonder what they would make of our service. What would they think when Fr. Perrrini yelled "no more of this five dollar offering stuff. make a damn sacrifice" and saw us all in our shirts, ties and gold crosses? Would they be confused? Depressed?
I was flipping through my copy of the Message (which honestly i don't really like, but my TNIV is such a small font that i'm gonna go blind reading it) and I see how much of it is about happiness. Jesus was really happy. I can't help thinking of Matt 28-30 as so much of what Jesus was all about in a nutshell:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (TNIV)
What happened to that? Growing up I couldn't wait to wriggle out of being a christian because it was all rules. I remember being fifteen and lying in bed freaking out because I kissed a girl and was afraid to confession and that no matter how good I was I was going to go to hell. The god that was in my head was god of justice who loved those who behaved themselves.
Lets face it, no one really behaves themselves.
So I have been rethinking my christianity. I have decided that I will do everything short of sin to be happy because the other day on the subway I came to the conclusion that God really really wants me to be happy becuase he knows that if I'm happy I'll be nice to people and my hair will stop turning gray and I'll really be able to do His will.
So I have taped that verse to my steering wheel started pondering what Jesus would really want me to do and I have a manifesto
I am taking my life back.
I'm gonna roll down the windows and turn up the volume.
I'm going grocery shopping in high heels and red lipstick - because I can
I'm only buying cute underwear from now on.
I'm going to fall totally in love with myself
When sweet caroline comes on the radio in target - I am going to dance.
I'm going to wear that gray wool jumper with my doc martens even if you say it makes me look weird
I'm going to forgive people before they apologize
I'm going to drink champagne before noon.
I am going to knit something red
I am going to paint all of nails different color.
I am going to wear my pink wellies when its raining
I'm only going to say what I mean
I'm going to eat strawberry ice cream whenever it crosses my path
I'm goint yo take a million pictures
I'm gonna keep chasing the horizon.
forever.
this is so exciting
you should come too
I was flipping through my copy of the Message (which honestly i don't really like, but my TNIV is such a small font that i'm gonna go blind reading it) and I see how much of it is about happiness. Jesus was really happy. I can't help thinking of Matt 28-30 as so much of what Jesus was all about in a nutshell:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (TNIV)
What happened to that? Growing up I couldn't wait to wriggle out of being a christian because it was all rules. I remember being fifteen and lying in bed freaking out because I kissed a girl and was afraid to confession and that no matter how good I was I was going to go to hell. The god that was in my head was god of justice who loved those who behaved themselves.
Lets face it, no one really behaves themselves.
So I have been rethinking my christianity. I have decided that I will do everything short of sin to be happy because the other day on the subway I came to the conclusion that God really really wants me to be happy becuase he knows that if I'm happy I'll be nice to people and my hair will stop turning gray and I'll really be able to do His will.
So I have taped that verse to my steering wheel started pondering what Jesus would really want me to do and I have a manifesto
I am taking my life back.
I'm gonna roll down the windows and turn up the volume.
I'm going grocery shopping in high heels and red lipstick - because I can
I'm only buying cute underwear from now on.
I'm going to fall totally in love with myself
When sweet caroline comes on the radio in target - I am going to dance.
I'm going to wear that gray wool jumper with my doc martens even if you say it makes me look weird
I'm going to forgive people before they apologize
I'm going to drink champagne before noon.
I am going to knit something red
I am going to paint all of nails different color.
I am going to wear my pink wellies when its raining
I'm only going to say what I mean
I'm going to eat strawberry ice cream whenever it crosses my path
I'm goint yo take a million pictures
I'm gonna keep chasing the horizon.
forever.
this is so exciting
you should come too
Thursday, July 5, 2007
sometimes i feel worthless
i pciked adwoa up from her boyfriends house and then dropped her off at her house
abbe cancelled on me to hang out with raven (her girlfriend)
i dropped robert off at the mall to go to the movies with some girl he's probably dating
and here i am, knitting, posting on the OOZE and staring at my cat.
i'm so lonely that i think im going to die.
i pciked adwoa up from her boyfriends house and then dropped her off at her house
abbe cancelled on me to hang out with raven (her girlfriend)
i dropped robert off at the mall to go to the movies with some girl he's probably dating
and here i am, knitting, posting on the OOZE and staring at my cat.
i'm so lonely that i think im going to die.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Things to do before death
i was going through some old letters and things while organizing my desk this morning and i found something hysterical.
Made by Elizabeth "Zee" Thomas and Stephanie "Cola" Asprocolas
dated June 28th, 2004
22 things to do before death
1.) Kiss a random guy
2.) Fall head over heels in love
3.) Make out in public {x}
4.) Go to Paris
5.) Get on stage together
6.)Buy something really expensive {x}
7.) Get on T.V {x}
8.) Wear something outrageous in public
9.) Conquer fear {x}
10.) Get in a 'Fight Club' fight
11.) Get a tattoo
12.) Be a little old lady for a day
13.) Smoke one whole cigarette {x}
14.) Go to a hardcore protest
15.) Go to the gay pride parade
16.) ROAD TRIP!!!
17.) Dress up for Rocky Horror
18.) Have a one night stand
19.) Fart really loud in public
20.) Scare the hell out of Mr Martinak (in five years)
21.) Get a boyfriend {x}
22.) Be steph for a day
i've done six of these things in the past three years
there are five things on this list that i really don't want to do.
i can remember making the list. we were down in belmar in our bedroom, we had candles lit everywhere and we were giggling and throwing things at each other fantasing about the life that lay before us and all of the amazing things that we were going to do.
then we stopped talking. she liked liquor i liked jesus and that didn't work for a while.
last night we reconnected though and talked about the list. we hung out at mr martinaks house and smoked cigarettes on his back porch and finished each other sentences just like we used to in ninth grade. the only walls that existed were the walls that we created and as it turned out, they weren't even really there.
it was perfect - the church girl leaning on her badass counterparts shoulder reflecting on the good old days when labels served no purpose...
Made by Elizabeth "Zee" Thomas and Stephanie "Cola" Asprocolas
dated June 28th, 2004
22 things to do before death
1.) Kiss a random guy
2.) Fall head over heels in love
3.) Make out in public {x}
4.) Go to Paris
5.) Get on stage together
6.)Buy something really expensive {x}
7.) Get on T.V {x}
8.) Wear something outrageous in public
9.) Conquer fear {x}
10.) Get in a 'Fight Club' fight
11.) Get a tattoo
12.) Be a little old lady for a day
13.) Smoke one whole cigarette {x}
14.) Go to a hardcore protest
15.) Go to the gay pride parade
16.) ROAD TRIP!!!
17.) Dress up for Rocky Horror
18.) Have a one night stand
19.) Fart really loud in public
20.) Scare the hell out of Mr Martinak (in five years)
21.) Get a boyfriend {x}
22.) Be steph for a day
i've done six of these things in the past three years
there are five things on this list that i really don't want to do.
i can remember making the list. we were down in belmar in our bedroom, we had candles lit everywhere and we were giggling and throwing things at each other fantasing about the life that lay before us and all of the amazing things that we were going to do.
then we stopped talking. she liked liquor i liked jesus and that didn't work for a while.
last night we reconnected though and talked about the list. we hung out at mr martinaks house and smoked cigarettes on his back porch and finished each other sentences just like we used to in ninth grade. the only walls that existed were the walls that we created and as it turned out, they weren't even really there.
it was perfect - the church girl leaning on her badass counterparts shoulder reflecting on the good old days when labels served no purpose...
Monday, July 2, 2007
Aslan by Kendall Payne
Don't stop your crying on my account
A frightening lion, no doubt
He's not safe, no he's not safe
Are you tempted now to run away?
The King above all Kings is coming down
But He won't say the words you wish that he would
Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good
I know you're thirsty, the water is free
But I should warn you, it costs everything
Well, He's not fair, no He's not fair
When He fixes what's beyond repair
And graces everyone that don't deserve
No one knows Him whom eyes never seen
No, I don't know Him but He knows me
He knows me, He knows me
Lay down your layers, shed off your skin
But without His incision, you can't enter in
He cuts deep, yeah He cuts deep
When the risk is great and the talk is cheap
But never leaves a wounded one behind
()()()()()()()()()()(()()()()()()()()()()()()
My sweet little kitten baby is better! I got home at lunch time today and he was in my room playing and jumping around like a kitten should. I was so happy. Thank you to everyone who cared about my sweetie :)
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