I do a little experiment whenever I walk into a church. I pretend I'm Junia or Pheobe or one of those other super cool church mothers who I pray that I can live up to and I wonder what their reaction would be. Once upon a time people heard this message that affected them in such a way that they allowed themselves to be thrown to the lions and we're practically afraid to bring up religion in a secular setting. I wonder what they would make of our service. What would they think when Fr. Perrrini yelled "no more of this five dollar offering stuff. make a damn sacrifice" and saw us all in our shirts, ties and gold crosses? Would they be confused? Depressed?

I was flipping through my copy of the Message (which honestly i don't really like, but my TNIV is such a small font that i'm gonna go blind reading it) and I see how much of it is about happiness. Jesus was really happy. I can't help thinking of Matt 28-30 as so much of what Jesus was all about in a nutshell:


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (TNIV)



What happened to that? Growing up I couldn't wait to wriggle out of being a christian because it was all rules. I remember being fifteen and lying in bed freaking out because I kissed a girl and was afraid to confession and that no matter how good I was I was going to go to hell. The god that was in my head was god of justice who loved those who behaved themselves.

Lets face it, no one really behaves themselves.

So I have been rethinking my christianity. I have decided that I will do everything short of sin to be happy because the other day on the subway I came to the conclusion that God really really wants me to be happy becuase he knows that if I'm happy I'll be nice to people and my hair will stop turning gray and I'll really be able to do His will.

So I have taped that verse to my steering wheel started pondering what Jesus would really want me to do and I have a manifesto

I am taking my life back.

I'm gonna roll down the windows and turn up the volume.

I'm going grocery shopping in high heels and red lipstick - because I can

I'm only buying cute underwear from now on.

I'm going to fall totally in love with myself

When sweet caroline comes on the radio in target - I am going to dance.

I'm going to wear that gray wool jumper with my doc martens even if you say it makes me look weird

I'm going to forgive people before they apologize

I'm going to drink champagne before noon.

I am going to knit something red

I am going to paint all of nails different color.

I am going to wear my pink wellies when its raining

I'm only going to say what I mean

I'm going to eat strawberry ice cream whenever it crosses my path

I'm goint yo take a million pictures

I'm gonna keep chasing the horizon.

forever.

this is so exciting

you should come too